I am not in control...

As a boy I read the poem “Invictus” by William Henley. The only line I remember was “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.” These stirring words spoke to my adolescent longing to do something heroic in my life. I suppose we all aspire to greatness in some manner. The American dream feeds that hope with the promise of freedom accompanied by success in many forms. One mundane form this quest takes in my life is a rather incessant creation of “to do” lists and the accompanying joy as tasks are checked off upon completion. In some small way I feel like I have control over a part of my life…I am the master of my list.
In the summer of 2012 I had an amazing adventure kayaking the entire 2300 miles of the Mississippi River. The most frequent question I am asked about this epic journey is “what is the most important lesson you learned?” My answer is short and simple, “I am not in control….and that is a good thing!” Over the months I spent on the Mighty Mississippi I could plan a few elements like when I would rise in the morning or what I would eat, but for the most part I was at the mercy of the elements. And while I the conditions could be extreme, I also experienced “traveling mercies” extended by countless people I called “river angels” as well as the truth of Mark Twain’s dictum, “One cannot see too many sunrises on the Mississippi”. I rediscovered grace means “going with the flow”, letting go, and being completely present in the moment. As I captained my craft I learned that grace is not being in control and it touched my soul.